I'm done!!!

I think the end of deployement is ten-thousand times worse than the beginning.  I know you are going to be here in no time at all, and I just can't see the end in front of me!!  I think after today we will be more busy and get into the swing of things here back at home again, but today (even though we went to an appointment on post and ran around there for 3 hours!) I just had way too much time, and by the evening was feeling annoyed, and depressed and just wishing you were home every 2 seconds!!  I don't know where it came from - out of the blue, it seems like to me.  I made some red raspberry leaf tea infusions; 4 quarts of it.  I thought about cooking, but I didn't want to, and I didn't do it either.  We ate sandwiches.  I did a load of laundry.  I thought about making the kids clear the dishwasher, but I just didn't feel like doing that either, and I didn't do them myself (I told Jenna to do them when she wakes up, which is how we usually do it anyway).  I ate a piece of delicious italian bread that I found at the commissary last week, with butter.  And then home-made no-bake cookies, which have like so much sugar in them that the baby probably gained 2 pounds just tonight on the bread and cookies alone.  I took the kids for a walk.  A short walk at that.  It was beautiful outside!!  But I was depressed again when we got home.  I don't want to be here without you anymore!  Our walk was too short, but poor Livea kept bending over and saying "whoo! my legs can't run anymore! whooo! I think my legs are tired!"  It was so cute - she wasn't really complaning, she was sort of surprised that she couldn't run as much as she wanted to - it was sweet.  Jenna was cold on our walk.  It was perfect for me and when we got home our 76 degree house was stifling and I shut all the windows and turned the air down to 72.  I'm not ready for hot yet.  Then the kids all got freezing cold and got blankets and bundled up and wouldn't stop saying they were freezing.  I miss you being at Summerall when we could talk for 45 minutes or an hour.  I don't like our 30 minute conversations - it seems like it's too short and it doesn't seem like 30 minutes at all.  So just hurry up and come home, because I love you and miss you so much and I just want this to be done, done, done!

37 weeks and update

Hi.  I have been so bad these last few weeks haven't I??  I have so many pictures to share, and we've done so much.  I have Jenna's and Livea's birthday pictures that you haven't seen....  all of our trip to Phoenix.....  at least we've talked a lot on the phone and I spew at the mouth when we do talk so much that I am sure I won't have anything left to say when you actually get home.  But that will be okay, because I know I haven't kept up well with you and what you've done and what you're doing while you've been working in Iraq.  I hope you don't think that I am not interested in your work there.  I realize I haven't been able to concentrate much on what is going on with you there....not like you concentrate on what is going on here with me....but I do care, and I do want to know and I hope that you will share it all with me when you get home.

Which I can't wait for!  I feel like it is so close, yet SO very far away.
I still have a ton of birth kit stuff to buy.  I was 37 weeks exactly, yesterday.  So I should get on it.  But I am kind of in denial about it all until you get home, because I want you here for the birth.  If I just ignore what I need, maybe I won't go into labor until you are here.

Not much on the agenda for today.  I have some laundry that needs to be folded and put away.  I need to dust and clean our bedroom.  The kids' rooms leave a lot to be desired in the cleanliness department, but I haven't worked up the energy to delve into that yet.  I honestly do not know how Jenna's room got so bad.  Somehow when her room gets messy - she really gets it messy.  It isn't really that messy as it is trashy - there is just trash everywhere.  Paper.  The girl loves paper.  There is paper everywhere.  I dunno.  I need to go get some water, and I was thinking about having the kids help me clean up the backyard.  The wind has blown chairs and toys and gardening stuff around.  Speaking of gardening -my poor garden beds have grass and weeds growing in them, so there is always that too.  Maybe I do have a lot to do today!!

I miss you and love you so much, and I can't wait to pick you up and have you back home with us.

32 weeks and more

32 weeks!

We seem to have been super busy for the past 2 weeks.  Between trying to get the house "baby-ready" and people coming to visit with us, and us visiting people - we just have been going, going, going.  We had Jenna's birthday at the bowling alley on post, and the kids had so much fun.  Livea is still randomly saying "I want to go bowling again!"  We all had a lot of fun, we will definitely have to go bowling when you get home.  I need to post some of those pictures on here before we leave for Phoenix.  Hopefully, with nothing left in the house to clean, I will be motivated to do that.  Adam also found the disk with the fire department field trip pictures on it (yay!).  We are heading to Taekwondo this morning so that we can go to visit Kurt and Heather and their sweet little baby tomorrow.  It'll work out better to go to the homeschooling class anyway since the other class is on Thursday morning.

I still haven't finished cleaning the carpets, but as soon as I am done here I am heading out to do just that.  For real this time!  I left the carpet cleaner out for a week now thinking I would get to it every day.  I want to put that thing away!

Our trip to the Cosmosphere this week is our highlight of the week - well, I guess that and Phoenix!!  The 2 and a half day drive is becoming more daunting to me as the time approaches.  But I am still excited!  Mostly excited there is no d-o-g to worry about for the trip, ahhhhhhhhhh.  You won't ever even comprehend what less amount of stress there is on me now, I just can't even explain how much I fretted over what she was doing  a l l  d a y, e v e r y  d a y.  Alas, no more!  I am free (and I honestly feel free!).  The funny thing is, someone rang the doorbell at 8:30 last night.  I said "who is it?" nothing.  I said "who is it???" again, and I hear a woman's voice say "it's your neighbor."  Uhh, ok, what neighbor?? I know all our neighbors.  So I say "what neighbor??" lol.  She says "I live on Oakwood," hmmm, so I just open the door.  I'm paranoid like that I guess.  I mean it was dark.  So she asks if we have a boxer.  What????  I tell her no.  She said, "oh really," like she didn't believe me, "because the neighbor behind you said that you guys have a boxer," ha.  So I told her we did, but I just gave her up last week.  She was skeptical.  I asked why and she says she found a boxer wandering around.  Brindle, white face, will sit, lay, stay on command, really dirty and very thin.  I said, I don't have any idea whose dog it could be.  Told her our dog's name, but told her that I also paid my fee to the shelter, and I am not taking her back if she does answer to the name Roxie. lol.  She then lectured me how she would never take her to the shelter because after 30 days it doesn't matter what kind of dog it is, they will kill them.  I told her that the shelter told me that pure-bred boxers never stay longer than a few days, never more than a week, and that is why I wasn't worried about it.  She then repeated how they kill dogs like 5 more times.  I told her to go take her to the pound and see if she has a microchip.  She mentioned how the dog didn't have a collar, and what kind of pet owner would not put a collar on their dog, but how she hopes she can find the owner because she already has 3 dogs and 4 children, and doesn't want another one.  She starts telling me I should have just kept Roxie in the backyard because "that's what she does" and she doesn't worry about them at all (I mention that I don't want my screens nor my screen door tore up and she says she took all hers off, as she doesn't ever open the windows anyway, lol).  Well, why have dogs if you just want to not worry about them in your backyard all day every day?  What is the point?  I could have done that too I suppose, but boxers can't stay out in the winter "all day".  And why have a dog if you just want to "not worry about them" all day, every day?  Weird.  So I wished her luck and told her to put up signs, and she finally left.  I won't mention to you, the paranoid thoughts of her cutting me open and taking my baby out of me while we were standing there talking.  ahem.  She just left though.

I keep trying to delete those last few lines, but really, I did wonder.  She was strange.

I love you and miss you so much, and I am so glad that it is almost time for you to be home with us.  Don't get complacent in your last days, and don't let your guys get complacent either.  Be over-safe!!  Come back already!

various

 

I haven't been very good about keeping up here.  I think I'll be better when our Giant computer is back home again.  He said it was overheating - and that was all.  He also cleared off all of the error code things (the 50-million!) that popped up when restarting - all but one he said.  He said he looked up our computer and I guess it has a high rate of overheating....either I could just leave the side off of the computer or he could install another fan for me.  So I just told them to install the fan.  Yay!  Once I get it back then I'll be able to actually get pictures off my camera, and maybe I'll be more motivated to keep you up-to-date here.

The kids were looking at picture albums today and found this one.  "Why is Daddy kissing you, Mommy??"  Adam wanted to know.  There were a few pictures like that one, and they all thought they were pretty funny.  Personally, I like it.  So I thought I'd post it here, since I know you don't have a lot of pictures of us there - maybe you can copy it and add it to your computer.

I got the hutch moved into the kitchen last night, and I still have a pile of uhh, junk mostly, that needs to be thrown in the trash put away.  I'm not feeling the motivation to do it so much, but I am going to as soon as I am done here.

We cancelled our midwife-meetup as well as Jenna's ortho appointment.  Rescheduled the latter for next week.  Not sure about when we're rescheduling the midwife yet.  So we are staying in our warm house today, cleaning, doing school, and just staying out of the snow.

I had a dream that someone stole our new car.  I felt horrible because I had left the spare keys in the glove-box (where they really still are).  I woke up and checked; car is still in the driveway.

Dog is already driving me nuts today, and I am ready to send her out into the cold.  I so am not a dog person.  Now that I switched the small table back into the kitchen she walks around the table in circles waiting for food to fall on the floor - or not waiting and just licking up the crumbs that fall on the chairs - pushing their chairs all around as she moves about.  Maybe most people would be glad the dog is licking up crumbs, but it really just bugs me that she is licking the chairs.  Yuck.  Plus, she is tall enough that her head is above the table, and so she can easily lick the top of the table or grab food right off.  Dogs are not fun; dogs are not fun; dogs are not fun.  But - I think I am just generally in some kind of bad mood today because the kids are on my nerves today as well.  I feel bad - it's not like it's their fault, they aren't doing anything out of the ordinary, but when they do it, it is like it is the worst thing ever, to me. lol.  They are almost done with school, and after that we are having a very free day with the television ON. =)

Everyone misses you.  Most especially, probably the dog because I am probably only nice to her for 5 minutes of every week. ;o)

Everyone says "I wish Daddy were home....because...." close to every day.  You are missed!

Love you and miss you tons and more.

For You

Happy Valentine's Day.

Kansas City//28 weeks

Well, Kansas City was a quick trip this time, but it was still fun anyway.  The kids all had a ton of fun.  Besides the mess of the house-alarm going off on the way out, and then yesterday morning, that was a tad distracting, it we all had a really good time.

Friday night we went out to a local pizza place which was quite tasty.  Then we went back and just hung out at Kurt and Heather's house, chatting it up 'til way too late.  Livea kept getting up on Kurt's lap, and he started scratching her back at one point and she just loved it.  She looked like his little pet up there getting scratched.  It was really funny.


The baby shower was very nice.  A ton of people, ton of food, ton of fun, ton of gifts.  It was a really  nice shower.

Jenna even won a game!

Click here to view these pictures larger

The boys had a ton of "man time' with Kurt, as Kurt put it.  They went glow-in-the-dark golfing, which they have been dying to do for some time as you know.  Kurt said it was 36 holes!!  They went the distance!  And I can't forget to mention that they got soda afterward.  They both mentioned this several times to me.  They thought that was really special evidently.

When they got home, they played with Legos, and Playmobile toys for a while.  After most of the guests cleared out Kurt put video games on for them again, and Adam is so dang cute - check it out!  I am not sure if he is just adorable and loving, or controlling and holding him there so he doesn't get away with the remote. ;o)


I have a cute picture of Heather and I that someone took, we're back to back with our belly's protruding.  I will have to ask Heather to send that picture to me so I can post it for you.

I can't wait to be in Kansas City with YOU.  Fourth of July, baby!  What a fun tradition!  I'm already so excited about going there for the Fourth.

Here is my 28 week picture, I was 28 weeks Friday.

My ankles were swollen for the first time yesterday - maybe the drive home, maybe not drinking enough water during the shower, maybe standing all day, maybe not drinking enough, standing all day and the drive home all together....  I hate the swollen ankle days, and I am hoping it was just a bad combination and I am not ready to have swollen ankles yet!

It's getting so close for you to come home (already? seriously???).  The middle part was so hard, and we're so close to the end....I just can't wait for you to be with us again.

I love you and miss you so much!!

Pictures

The kids played in the snow the other day when I shoveled the driveway.  Livea climbed the huge hill and was so proud of herself so I had to take a picture.

The boys played too.  Jenna was in the house...so there aren't any pictures of her this time.  I will have to get plenty of her in Colorado!

I was doing laundry last night and I asked Livea to fold her diapers up.  She loves helping with any kind of work around the house so I knew she would love to help.

All done!  Look what a great job she did!  I did not help her at all!
Love ya and miss ya!

24 Weeks

When I think about it, 20 weeks seems almost more of a milestone than 24. But before I know it I'll be 30 weeks, and then 40. So I am trying not to think about it all too much anyway.

I wish you were here. I hate to say that. All the deployment crap we go through says not to worry you about "insignificant", "meaningless" problematic types of things. "Don't make issues." And I'm not, truly - you know that. And I think you above so many other people I know, love to hear that I wish you were here...more than me not saying it. I just miss you. It seems like it's been so long now. And it has been just 5 months. It seems like forever to me. And yet again, when you're home, I know it'll seem like you were never gone. It's so strange how our minds work. I guess they do what is best for us at the time. Now: me clinging to you getting back here. When you're home: me forgetting you were ever gone.

But I do miss you now more than ever.

Our driveway is so crappy looking, I should take a picture. You would probably be horrified. If we didn't wear our snow boots to get to the car we'd fall all over ourselves getting in. That's funny, but still... I feel pretty lazy that I haven't shoveled it. I may just do that tomorrow. We are supposed to have temps in the 30's for the next few days (YES!!!!). It is seriously a heat wave! I probably will be wearing a shirt and a sweater to shovel it. It has just been so cold, the idea is just daunting to me to go out there. I am hibernating in here. But really, it is very lazy of me. It would be so nice to walk out to our car free of obstacle-course-snow-piles. And snow-piles they are.

Yes, I miss you. I miss a man's body. Is that chaste enough to say in a public, eerr, sorta public, blog? Probably not, but this is mostly for you, and while I am not going to spew out the mouth in an unchaste way, I hate to not say what is on my mind...and I do just miss a big manly man near me. Oh okay, I mean, I can be near plenty of men, at the stores or wherever I go. But it's cuddling up and being close, and having eye and hand access at you that I miss. I guess that might be unchaste to say. But I am a married woman, so I'll say it, and be glad of it. I miss you.

We all do. I'm praying for you. We all are. Every day, and night, and any other time we think of it. The kids pray for you every single day. Luke prays often that you eat healthy food and that that healthy food makes you feel healthy and strong. It's so sweet of him. Livea always prays that you're not scared and that you're safe in "Iwrack."

I think the United States Army needs a few more men so that deployments can be cut to 6 months. That is what I think. Maybe you should come home and recruit. Can you even do that at your rank anymore? LOL.

Love you, love you, love you, love you and miss you even more.

Josh, I think I seriously hate our dog. I try and try and try and try to like her, and then she does something else that makes me insane with anger. I can't stand her. I can't stand being so mad about something she has done all the time.

She just ate bacon that I was making for dinner.

Then when I finally rationalized with myself that she's a dog, what can I expect when it's near the edge of the counter, and she's tall enough to stand up and grab it (even if that is TERRIBLE of her, and she's a VERY bad dog for doing so!!!!) - I come into the computer room to see what Luke is doing and I find a freshly chewed up bottle of Elmer's glue on the floor and 2 huge piles of white glue on the floor.

I hate her! I was just making brownies with Livea and Livea had a quesadilla half-eaten on the table. The dog kept sniffing up at the table, sniffing, sniffing, and I kept watching her out of the corner of my eye, and finally, sure enough she hops up to grab the quesadilla. She is NOT hungry she is just BAD, BAD, BAD! So I tell her "NO!" and she drops down. I never left the kitchen while making brownies, and she tried to get the quesadilla 4 more times - all while I was standing RIGHT there. Like I was going to forget about her or something. Did I mention I think I hate her???

If I knew how to do it, I would go take a picture of her with my fresh, new, camera, upload the image, and then photoshop a giant red circle with a slash through it, around her, and post it with this entry. I would do it just because it would make me feel better about hating her right now, and I wouldn't even care how much time I wasted on thinking about her and photoshopping her, I would just do it anyway!! I do not love dogs. I love kids, and I don't have room for dogs in my heart. If you were here, you could save our dog from my wrath, but since you are not, I am afraid she is at my mercy, of which I have none, for her. The End.